I really hate Yorkshire

I rest my case for using the whole poxy county as a test site for nuclear weapons,

Yorkshite………. I really dislike the

place and its socially inadequate, overly opinionated inhabitants.

Good: Yorkshite is a long way from London

Very Good: More Paki's seem to prefer the peoples Islamic Republic of Yorkshite, to London and the home counties thank the good lord!

Good: Yorkshite exports hundreds of whores from the slum estates of Leeds and Bradford to work in brothels in London every weekend, thus ensuring southern men associate whores with Yorkshite and NOT our prettier, cleaner, better spoken southern girls

Awful: It is a fact that The Yorkshite accent is amongst the worst sounding in the UK its right up there with Lancashire/Manchester, Glasgow, Birmingham, I still cannot make up my mind which is the worst yet they ALL sound like retards or prostitutes.

But the fact is ALL male Yorkie's sound like ruptured ducks being fucked by a gorilla, and ALL female Yorkie's sound like junkie Prostitutes desperate for a fix.

Bad: Yorkshite people are NOT "Friendly" they are clannish, Loud, Overly Opinionated, Nosey, Mean, Uncultured Chavs and that’s just the professional classes, the rest of them are even worse.

Bad: It is a complete myth that Yorkshite folk are"thrifty" they are not; they are just plain fucking tight!

Unbeliveable: Astonishingly Yorkie’s refer to their home land as gods own county!

Yeah Right! ........ Well I for one I do not believe for one second that God, would have chosen a cold, wet, windy, Paki infested, industrial wasteland, full of loud, stupid, fat faced, chip munching, opinionated wankers over say……….. the Cornish Riviera .....Nope only a Yorkie would be so arrogant as to believe that one!

Stupid: Yorkie's believe they are the best in the world at everything....................BullSHIT they couldn't even keep their one earner going THE COAL INDUSTRY that was destroyed single handedly by another Yorkshite "Know all" Arthur "fucking" Scargill just look what a fucking genius he was!

Stupid: Yorkie's given the chance, will bang on and on about how Yorkshite has its own fish fryers guild! Why is that?

Because Yorkshite fish fryers are so fucking thick they can only identify one type of fish HADDOCK! So the other fish fryers of England not wishing to be associated with people that fucking stupid……….. Kicked them out!

Football: Yorkshite's biggest club Leeds United doesn't even own its ground, and is now in its rightful place.......... OUT OF THE PREMIERSHIP what is also irritating to the more cultured Southern ear is the constant carping and moaning of the Leeds fan's who are bigger whiners than Spurs fans and that IS saying something.

Cricket: Yorkies seem to think they are the biggest thing in world cricket, but what else would you expect from fat fuckers with a big red round pie faces and opinions as big as the SS Queen Mary.

The FACTS are of course very different. Since 1949 Yorkshite have actually only won the county championship nine times! eight of which were 50 years ago! The most recent being a mere Twenty Seven years ago!

This colossal failure by the fat pie eaters is almost certainly due to the fact they have so many Paki's living there, THEY of course ALL support Pakistan NOT Yorkshite, a fact that is not going to get in the way of a Yorkie's opinion on cricket of course!

Yorkshite HAS produced SOME notable Cricketers and Umpires

Geoffrey Boycott the well known drunk, wife beater and generally loud, irritating, opinionated all round wanker.

Dickie Bird an irritating retired Yorkie cricket umpire, who will not stop telling the world how much he does for charity!

Freddie Truman OBE regarded as one of the greatest Fast Bowlers in history. Known as Fiery Fred, he was first man to take 300 Test wickets, and later became a popular and outspoken {The wanker's from Yorkshite what do you expect} radio summariser.

Irritating: Why do we have to sit through yet another series of "Last of the summer wine" year on fucking year?

Who the fuck apart from a few ageing Yorkie's, is remotely interested in looking at yet another shot of a village full of gas lit stone hovels, inhabited by mumbling geriatric morons who like sliding down hills in baths?

And don't get me started on the strident ugly fat Women in hats that look like WW2 pill box tank defences: who, had they been given a slap just after the wedding ceremony, might have learned their fucking place by now and keep their big mouths SHUT?

Unsurprising: One area Yorkshite does lead the world in is Mass Murderers.
Peter Sutcliff Yorkshite

Harold Shipman Yorkshite
The Crossbow Cannibal Yorkshite
I reckon its all that thinking they are God that does it!

Scum Bag Families: Another area in which Yorkshite really excels is in the field of scumbag families!,

Who could ever forget the site of the subnormal “Matthews Family” the matriarch kidnapped her own daughter in order to claim the reward she was certain a national newspaper would put up for her return.

We shall NEVER forget the sight of the Mathews plus her lover Craig Meehan and assorted scum bags marching off with crates of cheap lager to “relax” just as the nice police officer told them to.

Mathews then accuses Craig Meehan of kidnapping her daughter

But it get even better Mathews educationally subnormal lover Craig Meehan was caught with a load of kiddy porn on his PC, they never even considered they would all be considered suspects so they never thought to check if they had any naughty’s to hide!

The upshot was Mathews goes to prison for the faked kidnapping Meehan goes to prison for Kiddy porn and NOW

Amanda Hyett is sentenced to a year for making false benefits claims worth almost £36,000 Hyett, who referred to herself as Shannon's aunt, is the sister of Craig Meehan, the former partner of Shannon's mother. And look what a beauty she is! All 22 stone of the lazy sponging fat cunt.

Southern Softies: For some reason Yorkie's seem to think that, if you insist that your children attend school and that your home must have electricity, Gas, running water and flush toilets and other creature comforts.

BUT must NOT have,

Livestock and ferrets roaming freely in your living quarters, a pigeon loft the "Yard" a stone scullery, an outside "lavvy", oil or gas lighting, water from a communal pump, Then you must be some kind of "Southern Softie"!!!! What is all that about? {Presumably its this old fashioned "Hair Shirt" Socialist approach that has made the county the world leader in industry it is today!}

Beer: For some reason the Yorkshite people seem to think theirs is the only beer in the UK worth the name!!!!

In reality of course it is little more than slightly fizzy pond water with a hint of hop masquerading in the name of beer, but no matter what you say, Yorkie's simply will not stop banging on about how its the best you will ever taste, when you point out you have tasted it in London and its shit, you are hit with a barrage of “it won’t travel so southerners couldn’t possibly pass an informed opinion on it” {An oft repeated theme in Yorkshite}

Having tasted the filthy muck, I have to agree with them, indeed if the crap has to travel the distance from the tap to the glass it goes off. But this does rather prove the fact that John Smith and Joshua Tetley are clearly two of the world’s greatest all time confidence tricksters.

If you have any observations on Yorkshire you think the civilised amongst us would benefit from reading.

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